Rebekah Synder’s single, ‘The Fiddle Player Stays‘ is based on a true story when she borrowed a band’s fiddle player, and jokingly refused to return him the next day. We caught up with Rebekah and asked her some questions about her life, her music, and how she came to be where she is today. We promise we let her go when we finished!
When did you first realize that music was something you wanted to make a bigger part of your life?
I think that music isn’t a choice for some people. And I think that I am one of those people (that might be a blessing or a curse, haha). I’ve always felt a calling to pursue music.
In this most recent run of mine, it was just a couple of things that allowed it to happen. First, I got out of a controlling, abusive situation, and my child custody situation became somewhat stabilized and protected. Before that, between my ex’s nonstop demeaning and degrading me, and never-ending threats to our children and I’s safety and well-being, surviving day to day was about all I could muster and nothing extra. in 2024 I finally won a domestic violence restraining order at trial, and in the wake of that relief, as soon as I could find room to breathe, I turned back to making music, tentatively, at first.
Second, after I released a music video out onto social media, veteran Nashville producer Dean Miller contacted me and offered to produce me. He sort of provided the missing pieces I’d been searching for— the musicians. I have already been a singer-songwriter and guitar player, but assembling the rest of the musicians needed to record or perform has always been a challenge for me. Dean is an artist and songwriter himself, and he knows Nashville inside and out. I brought four songs I’d written to Nashville to record last June, and that really got the ball rolling.
Your music comes from a lot of personal experiences. Is songwriting a way for you to work through things?
Yes, writing songs about any life situation gives you an outlet to have your say on what you think about things. Certainly, personal experiences are a reservoir for song ideas. Whether it’s something about heartbreak or just amusing events that have happened in my life, like in “The Fiddle Player Stays”, for example, which is based on a true story from a local small-town bar.
As far as my romance-themed songs go, thoughts will enter my mind about some of the relationships I have had. Like a thought where you have a clear perception of what happened and why, or maybe what you can expect from someone, or why they are doing what they are doing, or what their demons might be. Sometimes it’s what I think about the relationship, or what I would tell someone else about it, or what I wish I could say to that person.
What do you love most about the country and Appalachian sounds you grew up around?
Well, I did not grow up only on Appalachian-rooted songs; I grew up on my mom’s record collection, which included albums ranging from “The Sound of Music” to “Thriller,” plus every seventies folk artist you can name. So many of my earliest life’s favorite sing-a-longs are songs written by Western Pennsylvania songwriter Stephen Foster. My Dad would sing “Camp Town Races” a cappella, just riding down the road in his truck or on hikes (and he’s no great singer), along with other Appalachian tunes like “Tom Dooley” and “Swing Low, Sweet Chariot”.
My mom plays guitar, and Stephen Foster’s songs are considered children’s songs, so we certainly had some of his in the mix of our regular music listening. Titles such as “Swanee River” and “Yellow Rose of Texas” come to mind first. And “16 Tons”, an old coal miner’s ballad, was the first song my mom taught me to play on the guitar. She said she taught it to me because it was the first song she learned to play.
Who can say for sure whether these songs are passed down from parent to child in certain regions? I don’t know. It’s possible. Especially in areas like the one where I grew up, where generations of families are born, raised, and die all in the same towns and villages. I write songs about coal country and community churches, the culture I grew up in, and a lot of my songwriting has nostalgia to it because the country life is dear to my heart. Those are the aspects I love most about this style and genre of music.
I am trying to push my own songwriting into different places because my first go-to melodies are naturally sing-songy, and my Appalachian, folk, and Country roots are part of that for sure.
You spent years away from music. Was it difficult to find your voice again when you returned?
Yes, actually, it was. I don’t think I even picked up a guitar for at least ten years. I was in a very controlling, abusive relationship and walked on eggshells at all times. I didn’t dare pick up a guitar, because that other person would feel threatened that they weren’t in control of something. I was afraid to do any activity that drew attention to me. For example, if I even put on makeup for a preschool ceremony, it was WWII, so I sure as heck didn’t pick up a guitar and start singing for the entirety of that relationship.
So then after that, my self-worth was so low because I had been abused persistently for so long. I was so conditioned by that point that it was emotionally hard to pick up a guitar and feel good playing. I felt shame at anything I might try to do. The best way to describe it is that he made me adopt a mindset that I had nothing to offer, that I had no business doing anything to connect with others, and that if I did, I should be sure everyone would hate me; I was a joke. That was the mindset I had to accept and adopt to survive that time of my life.
Finally, even after three years had passed and I had the restraining order I should have asked for years earlier wrapped up, I had some relief. A gal pal of mine told me she loved a song I had written and shared with her years earlier. She said I should get it and get back out there. We thought I should ask our longtime friend, Marcos Durian, a director we had made music videos with in the past, to shoot a music video for the song. So, I texted Marcos, and we met for coffee when I was down in Pasadena, caught up on so much, and planned the music video shoot.
In that way, I put the pressure on myself. Once I committed to that project, I thought, “Man, I’ve got to remember how I even played that song.” It had been so long that I didn’t even remember the chords. That gave me a deadline.
Even with the deadline, it was hard emotionally. I procrastinated for quite some time. Finally, I waited until the kids went to bed one night, called another friend, and said, “Make me play this cover to you over and over, because I’ve got to learn how to play guitar again.“ With the help, encouragement, and support of several friends to lean on, I got back at it. Thank god for friends. Now I want to learn every song I hear on the radio. But, yes, it was tough at first. It took a long time for me to feel like me again in many ways after the trauma of that experience.
Now that you’re making music again, does the process feel different than it did when you were younger?
Writing songs does not feel any different; I’ve always done it the same way. My first motivation for learning to play guitar was to be able to accompany myself singing, and that skill morphs into songwriting for many like me. But the potential for the music one creates is very different than it used to be and that has its own effect.
I think for me, and for every person who was making music before streaming came about, it is night and day. I mean that literally: we were in the dark, and now we are in the light. You couldn’t see us, and now you can. What I mean by that is, it used to be you had to wait for a record label to come along and say to you, “You are good enough; you get to make music and share it with people.” Now any of us can make music and make it available to everyone on major consumer platforms. That is an industry shift of epic proportions (in my opinion). And it happened gradually, but it has changed the world.
The thing I think is really liberating about this is that it simplifies music-making and music-sharing to their lowest common denominator: the idea that any of us now gets to share the music we make with everyone else in the world. In my opinion, it’s minimized the commercial, superficial components that record labels used to prop up sales.
Incredibly, as a result, there are so many more music listeners, and so many more people you can reach and share your music with, in so many more places all over the world than ever were accessible. We often hear that there is more music being made than ever before, and that the competition is fierce. While that is true, it seems to me that there are more and more diverse music fans out there than ever before, and that’s a great thing.
Your family plays a big role in your story. How has being a mother influenced the way you write songs?
I did not mean to write so many songs about being a mother. It just happened. I guess it’s because my world revolves around my kids, and my responsibility as a mother plays a huge role in my life. Sometimes, when writing a song, you just think up a melody and start telling your story to it. That is what happened in “These Jeans”, a song about life’s lessons and surviving challenges, and a big part of that story for me is being a mother, so those details made their way into the lyrics.
Even when I was imagining the story of “The Fiddle Player Stays” the fact is I really do live in a red brick house with my three kids, and we really do live in the house on the corner, so that created an opportunity for me to throw in classic country music imagery, And so the line wound up as “a man in a black coat approached the crossroads where I live, in a red brick house with my three kids and that fiddling fugitive.” So I guess I was just throwing in some classic country music imagery with the crossroads and the man in black, with some of my real life, which revolves around my three kids, toward creating an entertaining narrative.
Then we have my summer single “Small Town” (currently at #68 on the MusicRow Country Breakout Chart and #92 on the Mediabase Country Airplay Chart. Here again, the song just happened; I started with a melody and the line, “I recommend a small town.” Then I just wanted to communicate all the reasons I recommend a small town, and naturally that took shape as a song reflecting on my day-to-day life raising my kids, the choices I have made for them, and why.
Last, there is my most recent release, “Someday Lullaby,” which is directly about my struggle to protect my kids in the wake of domestic violence, which is ongoing and has been a painful experience.
What does it mean to you when someone tells you that one of your songs helped them through a difficult time?
A lot of my mom friends texted me after my song “These Jeans” was released. That made me so happy. One friend said, “I love the song, but I don’t really fit in my jeans anymore.” I said, “Don’t think about it literally; it’s not about the actual pair of jeans. It’s a state of mind that I am singing about. It’s about drawing confidence from the fact that you have endured, survived, and persevered through life’s challenges so far, and that therefore you can keep on doing it.”
Plus, I see all these people every day at hockey practices and football practices, and we’re all just struggling to keep it together and give everything we can to our kids and our families. We’re all cheering each other on every day. My songs are just one way I do that. My community cheers me on when I need it, and I cheer them on. We make it through one day at a time.
You’ve experienced a lot of changes in your life. What keeps you moving forward when things get tough?
The sink-or-swim survival mentality of being a mom all alone “keeps me moving when my feet hang low” (to quote Tyler Childers). When you are a single parent, or any kind of parent, you get out of bed every day for your kids. I am not superhuman, and I probably would not get out of bed every single day in a positive, productive, alpha mood for a music career (as much as I love music); it is optional. But taking care of your kids once you have them, that is not optional. I get up every day for my kids, to be the best I can be for them. That’s what they deserve, and that’s my motivation. Then the rest of the day just happens, and when I can fit music in it, I sure do. So far, it’s been working out well.
As you look ahead, what are you most excited about, and what would you like to say to your fans before we wrap up?
Coming up next, I have some great singles I’m proud of and happy with, and I can’t wait to share them.
I wrote and recorded three new songs in August down in Nashville, again with Dean Miller. I also arranged a version of “Over the River and Through the Woods” to release this Holiday season and brought my kids, and they added their kids’ voices, which is always adorable in a Christmas Carol. Similarly to how I had my kids record a version of “Up on the Housetop” last year. It was such a great experience together, and I wanted to do it again.
At the same time, I want to strive to write some better songs. Something so catchy you can’t stop listening to it. Something that can compete with the best songwriters in Nashville. I am hoping that while working on new songs and continuing to push mt current singles at radio, the exposure will lead to potential touring opportunities.
In anticipation of a tour, I have begun working on designing merchandise (I love clothes). I am trying to pick my funniest song titles and turn those into apparel. And I am looking for a brand to collaborate with.
You can watch the music video for ‘The Fiddle Player Stays’ and find out more about Rebekah Snyder and her music online on her officialwebsite,Facebook,TikTok,Instagram,YouTube, andSpotify.
