Your Friends & Neighbors Season 2 Episode 3 Review: We Were Never Supposed to Get This Old

Critic’s Rating: 3.75 / 5.0

3.75

Hello to everyone slinking in the back door and hoping to get out unnoticed, just like Coop when he’s hitting one of his friends’ places to steal their treasures.

I see you! I know you are here. Say hello. Drop a comment. Enjoying the season so far? I’m not here to entertain you as much as to engage you. Let’s talk about the great show that is Your Friends & Neighbors.

If you watch a show and never say a word about it, did it even happen? And let’s be honest, things are heating up for Andrew Cooper.

Coop may have wanted to leave behind his stressful days in the world of high finance, but even he has to admit he’s damn good at it.

And since he’s been counting on new US Citizen Elena to scout houses for security before they raid the place, he’s been a little less focused.

He admitted during Your Friends & Neighbors Season 2 Episode 1 that he’s not very good at loafing. He’s been golfing and watching old movies. Drinking a lot. Generally doing a whole lot of nothing.

It doesn’t really suit him. He’s a go-getter. He spent years avoiding his family life while Mel raised the kids because he loved the excitement of the work, not because he hated his family.

His midlife crisis and new career as a criminal seemed like a good bet. He wasn’t even on the hook for any of it, but was framed for a murder he didn’t commit instead.

Part of him probably felt invincible as a burglar. But then he partnered with Elena, and Ashe moved to town, and tornadic winds lifted him off his feet.

Suddenly, he’s beholden to a drug runner (we KNEW Ashe was hiding something behind his import-export business) for a book that was sold back to the man he stole it from (Ashe), lest he face another round with the law.

And Ashe is a big-time criminal. He doesn’t waste time with bit players; he’s likely running guns for countries on our most-watched list and terrorist organizations.

It’s probably not a stretch to think that even if he doesn’t call the police on Coop, he can call people much more dangerous to put him in his place.

But part of me wonders why someone as shrewd as Coop wouldn’t turn the tables on Ashe. If Ashe can threaten him with video of his break-in, couldn’t Coop record a conversation with Ashe in a little tit for tat?

It wouldn’t really do him any good to do anything with that kind of information, but having it might be comforting.

That’s the whole reason countries have nukes. Nobody really wants to use them. But knowing you have something on your opponent who has something on you puts you on a level playing field.

Ashe is on the OFAC list as an SDN, and since they kind of brushed over it, here’s the gist.

The Office of Foreign Assets Control isn’t just keeping a naughty list for fun. When someone lands on their Specially Designated Nationals List, they’re basically financially radioactive.

Banks won’t touch them. Their assets in the U.S. are frozen. Any American person or business is legally barred from doing business with them. Not “discouraged.” Barred. As in, do it anyway, and congratulations, you’ve just invited the federal government into your life in a very personal way.

So Ashe isn’t just shady AF. He’s cut off.

Which is where Coop comes in, and why this is so bad that it almost loops back to being darkly funny. Coop isn’t being asked to “help invest.”

He’s being asked to act as a middleman so Ashe can sneak money into the financial system through someone who isn’t blacklisted.

That’s classic sanctions evasion. Add in the hedge fund angle, and you’re brushing right up against money laundering territory, too, whether Coop wants to admit that to himself or not.

And why not? He’s doing that part himself for his own growing criminal enterprise.

And those KYC rules Coop mentions? That’s the ‘Know Your Customer’ regulations. They’re the boring but important guardrails banks and funds use to verify where money is coming from and who’s behind it.

The higher the investment, the more scrutiny it attracts. So when Coop says it needs to be $1.1 billion, he’s really talking about structuring the deal so that either the source is buried or how it’s vetted is shifted. It’s not a loophole so much as a gamble that nobody looks too closely at the wiring.

Which is exactly the kind of thing regulators exist to look closely at.

The part that really tightens the noose is that one of the target funds is Coop’s old firm. So now you’ve got personal history, ego, and revenge tangled up with federal-level financial crimes.

If this goes sideways, it’s not just “oops, bad investment.” It’s frozen accounts, investigations, and potential charges for knowingly helping a sanctioned individual move money.

That can mean massive fines at best, and actual prison time at worst.

So yeah, Coop went from lifting watches and books to possibly facilitating the evasion of international sanctions after a guy caught him mid-theft.

That’s the kind of slippery slope that doesn’t just end badly; it ends with paperwork and (another) court date.

And the kicker is that all of this tracks perfectly with one of the show’s themes: people thinking they’re in control of their little secrets… right up until someone else decides to use them.

All of this brings us to everyone else in Coop’s orbit.

There’s Sam, who is about to get caught in the middle of something she couldn’t possibly understand. There’s no way this thing between Coop and Ashe ends well, and how it ends will affect her.

We know Coop isn’t going anywhere. He’s the show. So, where will Ashe be by the time Your Friends & Neighbors Season 1 ends? James Marsden has been making a living by blowing in and out of series and making a huge splash.

Prison? Death? Just going into hiding? Something will sweep him away.

That will also affect Hunter, who has fallen for Ashe’s daughter, Deliliah. It doesn’t even matter how it will affect him. It will. And she could be a chip off the old block. She’s already teasing Hunter into dropping his girlfriend.

And hello! Barney is embracing his new criminality, feeling like he can conquer the world. He’s putting together money laundering schemes using his client and friend Nick’s growing business and preparing for a third child.

He’s sexually satisfying his wife in ways he hasn’t in a long time. He’s on top of the world. It’s the perfect time for someone to come along and knock him down.

So, this is a huge deal and really gets the engine revving for the remainder of the season.

There is a lot at stake, and while I fully expect it to be a lot like another installment in The Hangover movie franchise, many characters are going to be quite disappointed when it’s all over.

I can feel it. Can you??

And then we have the women in Coop’s life. (First, let’s also take a moment to remember that the most beautiful and grounded scenes come with Jon Hamm and Amanda Peet. Please, let Coop and Mel forever be in each other’s orbit.)

Mel got her Mona Lisa (on Coop’s dime), but her ego is bruised because her daughter is embarrassed by her. Let Tori live 50 years and learn to deliver shit in a gift bag to the neighbor like a boss after having her vagina lasered for freshness. Then she can get back to me.

Tori has a lot to learn in this life, and running to daddy because she’s pissed her mom is looking out for her isn’t going to solve anything.

In fact, it could end up frazzling Coop just enough that he loses focus on his latest venture, as he did with his second one when Elena stepped up.

Mel didn’t even demand that Tori go to Princeton. She merely rescinded the rejection so that, after some time, Tori can accept it if she wants to. It’s an option, and it takes age and experience to learn that burning bridges isn’t a great idea.

Ironically, Tori is angry at Mel for doing something similar. And then she just does the same thing. To make a point.

Good God. Please, please, please do not turn Tori into a mini-Cooper (I had to do that) by having her join one of his operations. Because yes, he has two criminal enterprises existing simultaneously now.

Can you think of a worse time for her to move in with Coop?

Then there is Ali, who is trying to start fresh as a music teacher.

She’s trying to combine her passion with responsibility, and what does she get? Sad, unengaged children who can’t even discuss music. Who can’t talk about their favorite songs?

Well, I’m asking you lot who probably won’t drop a comment with your thoughts about Your Friend & Neighbors below after I pour my heart out here. Are you in class with Ali? Toss her a bone!

Through it all, Ali wants her big brother’s approval. His hesitation in supporting her rubs off on her, and she calls him out on it. If he says he believes in her, she’ll live up to his expectations.

I just hope he doesn’t get so bogged down in his own problems that he fails to keep up with what she needs from him.

So, there you have it. What happens when you’ve arrived at a critical point in life without direction? “We Were Never Supposed to Get This Old” gives you a hint.

What do you think is going to happen with Coop and his dueling criminal endeavors? Can he keep himself out of prison? Can he work with someone like Ashe? How will Barney and Elena manage if he’s busy elsewhere?

Is Coop finally going to get payback on his old boss Jack Bailey (Hello again, Corbin Bernsen!), or will it all blow up spectacularly in his face?

I want to know what you think. Don’t be shy!!