The Real Story Behind the Greatest Stage Rant Ever

It turns out that one legendary and viral stage rant wasn’t entirely what it seemed and the truth has come out about it.

All was revealed in the latest episode of the Beardo and Weirdo podcast with comedian Craig Gass and Five Finger Death Punch bassist Chris Kael.

In a previous episode, the two laughed about Casey Shaw’s infamous banter. The frontman recollected a job he held at 15 years old, manually extracting semen from horses, which was then jarred and sold at an exorbitant price. The tale exemplified that there are three types of people in the world, ultimately inferring the gap between those at the top enriching their fortunes and the work done by the others to ultimately make those people in power more wealthy.

…That’s the ultra-sanitized version of the story.

Shaw was much more descriptive, leaving almost nothing to the imagination. Still, burning questions remain, spurring Gass and Kael to become the investigative saviors that fans in heavy music have been longing for since this rant went viral years ago.

Yes, they actually interviewed Shaw!!

The vocalist reveals that the speech was well-rehearsed and a fixture of his band’s set. The story, however, is pretty much a complete fabrication with “nuggets” of truth laced within.

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“I lied to Wolfie [Bob Wolf] when I talked to him for Howard Stern. I kept the bit going with him, but I like you guys — I’ll give you the truth. I was working at FedEx, not at a farm or anything like that. There are nuggets of truth. We would ship these big mushroom-shaped containers — they looked like big ol’ penises. Everything had a little shipping label attached to it, a little invoice, and some of those were vials of horse cum that were being shipped in these big containers. They had to declare the value and some of them were $100,000.”

“I was getting paid next to nothing to move these little vials of cum around.”

It doesn’t take long for Gass to switch to his Gene Simmons impersonation, suggesting there’s at least one commercial good the band hasn’t branded yet.

We learn more about what Shaw’s bandmates thought of the speech and that he’s far more proud of the speech than any of the band’s songs. “Don’t listen to that band. That band was bad!”

Watch the podcast clip directly below and get even more of the real story behind that speech. For the full podcast episode, check out Beardo and Weirdo on YouTube.

The Real Story Behind the Greatest Stage Rant Ever

About the Beardo and Weirdo Podcast

The Beardo and Weirdo podcast stars comedian and big time rock and metal fans Craig Gass and Five Finger Death Punch bassist Chris Kael. Together, they share a lot of laughs as well as personal stories that hit on serious topics such as addiction and recovery.

New episodes every Thursday.

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