Tool Singer Responds To Fan’s Coffee Shop Insult

Despite being an massively accomplished musician with three successful bands – Tool, A Perfect Circle, and Puscifer – Maynard James Keenan likes to keep busy outside of his music career. He’s a wine-maker, jiu-jitsu black belt, and owns a record store (Queen B. Vinyl Café) that also serves as a music venue, coffee shop, and ramen restaurant.

But despite all of Keenan’s accomplishments, he’s not immune to online criticism.

On a recent appearance on comedian Bert Kreischer’s podcast, the pair discussed how the unprecedented access and anonymity that social media provides makes it easier for critics to share their unsolicited opinions on just about everything – including what they think public figures should and shouldn’t do and/or say.

Keenan recalled a recent comment he saw by a fan who told him to “Stick to f*cking writing songs, bro” after he was seen helping his wife roast coffee for her store.

Not happy with the fan’s comment, Keenan took the opportunity to publicly respond, saying: “Here’s the thing buddy — I have written, recorded, released and performed more songs than you ever f*cking will. In fact, from this day forward, I will be writing, recording, releasing and singing more songs than you ever f*cking will, ever.”

The singer continued: “But you can’t say that, because then you’re engaging and you’re getting sucked into the hole. But just the idea of going out of your way to go, ‘[says gibberish in a mocking tone].’ I just can’t understand how he types with his knuckles!”